Kingdom Of Albion
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


A Kingdom where fantasy creatures are welcome.
 
HomeLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in

 

 Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!

Go down 
2 posters
AuthorMessage
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 10, 2013 12:04 am

Name:Goslent Polsan

Actual Age:174

How old they look:19

Race/Creature Type:High Elf

Description of Creature:High Elves were the longest living, most intelligent and best looking of all the species in all of the fantasy realms. they are so light they can walk across snow like solid rock, they can run at incredible speeds and can jump ten feet without any running start at all. they're also hawk-eyed, and when they have a bow and arrow, they can be quite devastating.
Elves are superior to humans in almost every way, but they do have one drawback: the average Elf has one kid every two hundred years. the average human has one kid every three years... strength in numbers.(From Species List Site)

Country of Origin:Albion

Height:1,78 m.

Body type:Lean,attractive,strong but not too muscular

Skin tone:Pale

Eyes:Bright green

Hair:Black

Appearance:Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! 4782236676_4b1985233e Goslent usually dresses like most teenagers.On special occasions,he wears the clothes they brought from the land of High Elves with them,but that's oly if they have to meet someone of their kind.He also has an armor that he rarely uses.


Personality:Goslent is a calm type of person.Rarelly gets angry.He is also very open-minded.He isn't too talkative,some people might say anti-social.Being a High Elf,he can sense other mythical creatures.They are the only ones that make him hostile and dangerous.Most times he hides the fact that he is a high elf and lives like a mortal human.He is loyal and he needs people to proove their loyalty to him too before he can fully trust them.But,being a High Elf also made him a very open-minded boy

Diet:Mostly vegetables,he rarelly eats meat

Talents:Goslent is good at drawing.He is also a good runner and magician.

Flaws:Goslent is not very talkative and likes observing other people,Some find it annoying.He is possesive over things that he thinks belong to him and never admits he is wrong.He is hostile with other mythical creatures,like vampires and werewolfs..Also,his nose is broken from a fight with a vampire.

Powers/Magic (if any):He can communicate with nature (animals,nymphs etc).He also is also a magician,a power that came from being a High Elf.He can't do whatever he wants whenever he wants because even magic has rules.He can't teleport,for example,or something like that.Mostly a healer,but sometimes he can use magic to hurt people(with permission of the character's owner).He rarely uses Dark Magic,but he does when he has to.He can uses his spells 5 times per day,for 15 the most.When he overuses his powers,he feels weak,if it's only for a minute or so and faints if it's about 5 minutes or more.Usually he needs to rest for about half an hour but,when he overuses his powers he needs to rest for about 5 hours.The spells he uses are: Levitation,Restoration,which he sometimes uses for healing people too,Illusion and Sleeping spell,which he also uses as a healer.He can use the last two spells only with the consent of the character.All of them for 15 minutes the most.With the levitation spell,he can lift an object that weights no more than 3-4 kg for 4 feet off the ground,with the restoration spell,he uses it in healing broken bones sometimes too,with the illusion spell he can cause his victim illusions,which is very useful in battle,like seeing two trees instead of one etc and the sleeping spell,which he uses to his patients too,makes the victim fall asleep for about an hour.Between his spells he needs 30 minutes rest,or else it counts as overusing and he can't use any more magic during the day.

Weaknesses:His great weakness is his love for the ones he loves.People had often used that against him.As a High Elf he isn't allergic at anything.Sadly,he is afraid of heights and fire

Weapon(s):He mostly uses his magic as a weapon but he always carries his bow and arrows that are made from his grandfather.His arrows never end but his bow can still break.

Job in the Kingdom:Healer.He usually tries to heal people with his knowledge and rarely uses his magic.He usually uses his spells when they bring him someone badly injure (e.g. from a bow).The worst injury he can heal without his magic is a broken bone.The worst injury he can heal with magic is a stab-about 2-3 inches the most- from a sword or arrow

History:Goslent's family had moved to the kingdom when he was 63.They've been living like normal mortals since then and most people that know their secret are dead.His family was many times attacked by other mythical creatures that lived there;that's how his younger sister died.He has studied a lot about his race's history,enough to be a High Elf like any other.He mostly lives a normal life,spending his time at the woods unless he is needed to heal someone.At the age of 100,he bought a house,turning the first floor to a small hospital for his patients.Once he had been accused for being a magician and people wanted to kill him.He temporarily moved to the High Elves land,but returned after a few years.His bad luck made her presence known in his love life too.He once was in love with a young girl,Elda.Elda was very poor and her parents had died from an illness.They had decided to get married but,when he left to save himself,she didn't want to follow.So they killed her as a witch.He kept blaming himself for that and since then his relationships with girls are nothing more than friendly.

RP example:Today was cold but I felt nothing.But the young woman should be freezing.I let her in and offered her a blanket.Her round belly informed me that she was pregnant,propably ready to give birth."Where is your husbant,miss?"I asked her,trying to be polite."I-I-I d-don't h-have one"She stammered in a whisper.I didn't ask anything else,I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.I made her lie down and pressed a little on her stomach,making her yelp in pain."II'm sorry to say that but,something is wrong with the child.We'll see what it is when it is born.Now,you stay here while I go prepare my trools."I told her and left the room.

Notes:My second character died so I'm making this one.There might be some similarities but I'm trying to make them completely different


Last edited by Emona the Dragon on Fri May 03, 2013 1:41 am; edited 7 times in total
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeTue Apr 23, 2013 9:51 pm

"He also is a great magician with every kind of spell" Thats over powered. You need to specify what exactly he can do, how many times a day.
What exactly do you mean by power over nature?
Could you add a bit of description regarding his dressing style and stuff to appearance. He also needs a physical flaw.
Another weakness, your making him out to be a little too perfect.
Apart from being talkative and possesive, the rest arnt even flaws. How is being loyal and open minded a flaw?
10 sentences each for History and Rp example.
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeWed May 01, 2013 8:37 pm

Edited.I explain what power over nature is.Like,he can talk to the spirits that live in trees and to animals and make them do what he wants,stuff like that.
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 12:00 am

what spells exactly? he wont be alllowed to hurt any character without their permission because thats unfair.
I'll allow him to communicate with nature, but not control it.
10 times a day for one hour is basically all the time? so change that to 15 minutes at a time about 5 times a day.

In general- your character is way to over powered, you're gonna have to tone down his powers greatly.

He can be a healer but you're gonna have to tell me whats the biggest injury he can heal and how often, what happens to him when he over uses his powers etc.
"he's a great magician", again either explain this specifically or remove it- like what spells can he do? for how long? He's not gonna be allowed to do anything he wants whenever he wants. Do you see how that could be power playing?
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 12:08 am

Edited.Sorry but it's hard to make a High Elf.Is it better now?
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 4:38 pm

I understand that, but your making him way too overpowered Emona.
I need you to tell me what he Can do in magic. For example- Levitation- 15 mins, 3 feet off the ground. Sruff like that. Ill allow about 6 of these spells and im still.letting him be very powerful.

If he overuses his powers he feels tired for 1 minute?seriously? Do you see how thats overpowered?
Make it he collapses or something. And he'll need to rest for atleast4-5 hours because he has A lot of powers.

Add another weakness. Il allow him to have a never ending quiver of arrows but his bow will have to be a normal bow, meaning it can break.

Whats the worst injury he he can heal by magic? Please dont say "almost anything". Im looking for something like, fracture. How many times a day.

Add a little description about how he dresses under appearance.
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 4:41 pm

No,I meant that,if he uses his powers for another minute or so,he just feels extremely tired.And he faints if he uses them for 5 more minutes.I'll edit the rest
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 4:54 pm

Okay but, his powers are already extremely high so even approaching the limit should tire him out, not just surpassing it. He wouldnt be allowed to surpass his powers that are in his form. The more powerful a chracter is, the more rest they need.
You havnt changed anything I told you to :/
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 4:55 pm

Yes,I know I am editing it.Sorry.I'll say it when he is finished
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 4:57 pm

Sorrt my mistake, I dint see that. Just put in the title that you've edited.
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 5:16 pm

Edited
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 7:44 pm

Could you give me two lines on what each of his spells are exactly? Like levitation- how many feet about the ground? How much time does he need in between spells etc.
He cant have fire magic.
I asked you to add anotger weakness and I need to know the worst injury he can heal using his magic.
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 9:07 pm

Do you want me to explain the arrow spells too?
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 9:12 pm

His arrow spells will have to be included within the other spells. he cant have More magic
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 9:27 pm

Ok,Iedited.I deleted those powers.Can I say he is good at making potions or is it too much?
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 11:35 pm

Not a deep stab. The stabcould be 2-3 inches at the most, edit that.
Remove the bit about his arrow spells from powers.
No potions, he's way too powerful already.
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeThu May 02, 2013 11:54 pm

Edited
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeFri May 03, 2013 1:03 am

Levitation limits- 3-4kg for 4 feet.
Illusion and sleep spells will have to be with the consent of the character. He cannot do it without their consent. Put that in.
Remove "fix broken stuff", fixing broken bones should be enough. Not more than one bone at a time.
remove "the spells he usually performs", these are all the spells. He wont be allowed to do any spell thats not in this form.
How long does he faint for?
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeFri May 03, 2013 1:28 am

Edited
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeFri May 03, 2013 1:38 am

Edit to say he need half an hour between spells and if he overuses he cant use magic for atleast a day.
Back to top Go down
Emona the Dragon
Member
Emona the Dragon


Posts : 326
Gold : 316
Join date : 2013-01-07
Age : 25
Location : Greece,Athens

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeFri May 03, 2013 1:42 am

Edited
Back to top Go down
Asimi
Admin
Asimi


Posts : 226
Gold : 2147483647
Join date : 2013-01-06
Age : 111
Location : behind you

Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitimeFri May 03, 2013 1:47 am

APPROVED.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!   Remake of Character 2-FINISHED! I_icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Remake of Character 2-FINISHED!
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» First Character
» First character
» Second character
» First Character
» my first character

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Kingdom Of Albion :: General :: Character Forms :: Approved Character Forms-
Jump to: